The Definitive Power Ranking of Game Day Foods
Ahead of the Super Bowl, I interview my buddy Henry to determine the greatest game day food of all-time
Real journalism is back. This is the kind of investigative reporting that is the bedrock of our institutions. Some people would say this is more significant than Watergate. It rivals the fall of the Berlin Wall. Walter Cronkite wishes he could.
In the week leading up to the Super Bowl, everyone is focused on one thing: what are we going to eat during the big game (well, two things if you count being stoked to see Bad Bunny, which everyone should be, or three things if you live in Seattle or New England, I guess).
Food is at the heart of the fan experience. You may not remember the final score of the Eagles game, but you definitely remember that cheesesteak you housed at halftime. You may have erased any memory of the Cleveland Browns’ season from your mind, but you remember that hot dog you had when they played the Steelers.
So I interviewed my friend and one of the best rankers in the business Henry Grant, to put together a definitive list of the greatest game day foods of all time. Allow this to be your resource as you’re compiling the snack table this weekend. May you rest your weary eyes and ignite stomachs across the living room. If all goes well, most of your guests will be happy and full by the time Bad Bunny performs TURiSTA.
The Contenders (with rationale from Henry)
WINGS - “Should wings and boneless wings be considered together or separately? I think they should be separated personally.”
POPCORN - “You don’t need to dip it in anything. It’s light, it’s fluffy.”
SOFT PRETZEL - “I guarantee you if there are any Costco shoppers reading this, then they would know. There’s a soft pretzel combo at Costco that is just electric.”
SLIDERS - “If you feel like you can eat three of them? Then it’s a slider. If you cannot eat three comfortably, then it’s probably a sandwich.”
CHIPS AND DIP - “If you’re having friends over for a game and you need something else on the table, you grab chips and dip.”
NACHOS - “I think nachos are a little bit difficult to serve. Like they can have either too much cheese on one or they’ll be soggy at the bottom.”
SPARE RIBS - “The best tailgates, they got somebody who’s just, like, throwing the smoke.”
TACOS - “They can do so many different things. You can do barbecue tacos. You can do shrimp tacos. You can carry the momentum of a different city through the tacos.”
PIZZA - “At the house, you order a large pizza, you got everyone there. Beautiful.”
PIGS IN A BLANKET - “The hot dog is a traditional game day food.”
HONORABLE MENTION: SPARE RIBS
HENRY: So I’m going to honorable mention spare ribs. They just deserve a little bit more love. They don’t get the affection they need up here in the Northeast. They are delicious, they’re special, and every time you have them, you’re never disappointed. Even if you’re getting them from a chain like TGI Friday’s or something.
So this is really a gesture of love for spare ribs because they’re underappreciated, and you want to make sure that they know that they’re appreciated.
HENRY: This is for all my friends in the South who are like, we got to make sure we get the barbecue on here. Because, like, barbecue tailgate, that’s, like, that’s their whole thing.
#5 PIGS IN A BLANKET
We’re coming out swinging.
HENRY: They are so, so, so, so, so good. And here’s the thing. You can’t really mess them up. Plus, the hot dog is one of the quintessential American “meats.”
Yes, it’s a pastime.
HENRY: No one will tell you that they like hot dogs, but everyone loves pigs in a blanket, so riddle me that? It’s just like a great vessel for sauce as well, right, because the hot dog can carry a barbecue sauce but also a mustard. It’s rich but not too rich. You can pop a lot of them if you need. There’s a puff pastry on the outside, so you can pick it up, eat it, and not worry about your hands being too dirty.
There’s a cleanliness to it. So you’re drawn to the simplicity?
HENRY: I’m drawn to the simplicity. I’m also drawn to the flavor profile. At the end of the day, it’s about flavor. The salty, it’s not sweet, but it can be sweet with the right sauce. It’s like rich, it’s got some umami to it, which, you know, everyone says umami, no one knows what it means, but I kind of know what it means (maybe?). It’s just good. It’s just like a perfect savory thing to just like pop in real quick.
#4 SOFT PRETZEL
Listen, now I’m biased. I’m not a pretzel guy.
HENRY: You’re biased. You’re not a pretzel guy. So this is more of a you issue. But hear me out. You go to Auntie Anne’s, right? You bust out the mega pretzel bundle. You get a bunch of pretzel bites, whatever it is you need to get. Soft pretzels exist in almost like their own plane. They’re a snack, but they’re also a bread. Soft pretzels can fill many gaps for you. And the only place you will really be eating soft pretzels (unless you’re in Philly) is in a game day situation. And that’s why I feel like they really kind of stand out as a premier game day food outside of their utility in general.
I think it’s interesting. This also fits in line with your take on pigs in a blanket, with the cleanliness of enjoying a pretzel.
HENRY: There’s cleanliness when you are enjoying the pretzel.
Love an Auntie Anne’s cinnamon sugar pretzel. That shit slaps.
HENRY: I’m just throwing it out there, right like, again, simplicity and versatility. Pretzels can bring that.
I feel like the other great thing about a pretzel and a pigs in a blanket is that it’s a true snack. Like you’re not having it and feeling full after. It’s like I feel good, I could have more food or I couldn’t, you know, but you’re not going to feel terrible like you would if you devoured like a burrito, you know?
HENRY: For sure. And, like, yeah, this is, like, kind of my issue with, spoiler alert, pizza’s not going to be on my list, but one of my issues with pizza is that it’s too big. Like, you eat a slice of pizza, well, and it’s cheese, so, like, forget the lactose people, I guess. You eat a slice of pizza, and you’re like, okay, I can’t really eat much of everything else because I’m also drinking, possibly. You don’t want to be overtly full. And speaking as a man who’s in my 30s, obviously, I don’t have an iron stomach anymore. You just need those things that are smaller that you can pop a few of and be like, okay, I’m happy. I got my flavor. I got what I needed from this.
#3 CHIPS AND DIP
This is a loaded category. It’s like the Philadelphia Eagles of categories, but sometimes can underperform much like the Philadelphia Eagles.
HENRY: This is very true. They play down to their competition or to whoever’s making them. Chips and dip are a powerhouse of a category because it carries many, many, many options. Buffalo chicken dip being one of them. Seven-layer burrito dip is another. You can go with a cheesy sausage dip. There are just so many. You can cook a dip. You can purchase a dip. Caramelized onion dip. There’s just a ton of different flavor profiles you can get from a dip. And if you’re doing an at-home party, this could really make or break your party.
If you had to name one chip dip combo, what would it be? I want the dip type and the chip type. I’m a journalist who asks hard-hitting questions.
HENRY: I’m going with tortilla chips and salsa because one, I am omitting nachos here. So it gets me some nachos back.
Wow teaser.
HENRY: Nachos are not going to be in the top two. Sometimes I just need something a little bit fresher because it’s not as heavy as everything else. I can eat a little bit more of it. Or I can sit there, I can kind of munch on it while something’s happening during the game. Whereas some of these things, I can eat during the first half or the first quarter, but I won’t touch them again for the rest of the evening.
#2 WINGS
HENRY: Wings can and should be number one in most cases. They are a perfect game-day food. Speaking of the versatility thing, they can be spicy. They can be sweet. It is chicken, so you’re getting some protein. They are messy, though. You got some people who don’t like flats, some people who don’t like drums. I’m naming all the negatives about chicken wings because there are so many positives about them. I don’t really need to get into all the positives about wings. We all know why we love wings. They’re incredible. They taste awesome. They are a little unsanitary. You got people sucking on a chicken wing and just throwing their bones on the plate, and the plate’s in front of you, and you’re like, okay.
And dare I say, that shit is gross.
HENRY: I don’t know. Imagine someone was eating a shrimp and had the shrimp tails just sitting on the plate in front of you. Fucking nasty. That’s a ding against wings. That’s the only real issue with them. But outside of those negatives, they are a perfect game-day food.
They are perfect. They’re also kind of an activity, too, which is kind of nice, too.
HENRY: It’s true. It’s like when you go to a crab bake or some shit like that, right? Part of the fun is picking apart the crab, cracking the shell, and eating it. That’s part of the fun with wings.
So let’s talk about bone-in versus boneless. I have a feeling that you’re a bone-in.
HENRY: You know exactly where I’m going.
Because I would say, and, you know, I don’t want to put words in your mouth, but I would say personally that boneless wings...are not wings. They’re chicken tenders. Your rebuttal.
HENRY: You said it, not me. Boneless wings are barely chicken tenders. They are glorified chicken nuggets with real meat. I like bone-in wings because I’m an adult, so I just enjoy eating a wing that is real chicken, real meat. They just take away from the fun. Yeah, they’re a little cleaner to eat, but like, who cares at that point? I just think it flies in the face of tradition.
Wait, you didn’t give me a flavor!
HENRY: I’ll go with a classic mild, not too spicy. If you want my actual pick, I prefer a buffalo dry rub. I’d rather not have the sauce. I’d rather have a dry rub on my wings.
Less mess.
HENRY: All the flavor, none of the mess. Sauce takes away from the crispiness of the wing too much. I want my wings to still be crispy, and I get that with a dry-rubbed wing. Outside of just keeping my hands clean, it also maintains the integrity of the crispness of the wing.
I love a barbecue, but like best case scenario, I’m doing a mix of barbecue and classic buffalo because I love dipping things in blue cheese.
HENRY: A barbacuffalo?
A Mark Barbacuffalo.
#1 SLIDERS
At what point does a slider become a normal sandwich?
HENRY: It depends on the diameter, right?
I’m not good at measurement, but I would say a slider is like 4 inches in diameter.
HENRY: I’m just going to agree with you because I, too, am not good at measurements. So when you say four inches, in diameter, I can’t even fathom how large that is. Is that, like, the size of, like, a Martin’s potato roll? Is that the size of a Ritz cracker? I have no clue. I feel like four sounds big. I’m going to go with three inches. Let the internet tell us that we’re wrong.
Wow. The internet says a slider is two to three inches. You’re right.
HENRY: All right, so here’s the thing with sliders. They can be an entree. They can also be a snack. You can make it many different ways. You can do a cheeseburger slider. You can do a pulled pork slider. You can use a King’s Hawaiian roll. You can use a regular plain old butter roll. You can use a dinner roll. Like, there are just so many different ways that you can go with a slider to make it the quintessential part of your meal at your party. You could serve them cold, you could serve them hot, right? And that allows for it to be the vessel that carries the entirety of your party. You’re not going to eat it at a stadium, but you could eat it at a stadium. You could carry that around. You could walk with it. You can eat it. And like, you’d be, you’d be a happy camper.
Why sliders and not a sandwich? Is a sandwich too much?
HENRY: A sandwich is too big, right? Like, so it’s a pizza issue, right? Like, if you eat a sandwich, then you’re pretty much full, right? Whereas if you eat three sliders, you’re probably full, but you won’t have to eat three. You can eat one and be happy. You can eat two and be happy. But if you’re eating like a full sandwich, like you committed to a sandwich.
What’s your number one slider?
HENRY: Oh, I’m going to go cheeseburger slider. I was going to go ham and cheese slider because I just feel like it’s classic. But I’m going to go cheeseburger slider.