Eagles vs. Chiefs Recap
On winning, sad Chiefs fans, and a new name for the hamburger helper mascot
On a hot Sunday afternoon in Kansas City, the Chiefs faithful poured into Arrowhead Stadium to watch their team take on the Philadelphia Eagles in a much-anticipated rematch of Super Bowl LIX (or as me, myself, and I refer to it, the Beatdown in the Bayou).
The energy in the stadium was palpable; you could feel it vibrating through the TV screen. This is a desperate and dangerous Chiefs team. One starting the season 0-1, who, eight months prior, were embarrassed by the Eagles on football’s biggest stage. In front of His Highness Kendrick Lamar, nonetheless.
Unfortunately for Kansas City, the Philadelphia Eagles are a death machine that runs on the broken dreams of the Chiefs fans. In a defensive slugfest made to entertain gristly old men named “Vic,” the Eagles beat the Chiefs in Arrowhead 20-17. What this game lacked in lightning delays and loogies, it made up for in defense.
I hear real estate in Kansas City is excellent, which is why the Birds have decided to live rent-free in the heads of Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce, Andy Reid, and Co. Jalen Hurts and the Boys have now beaten Kansas City three straight times, dating back to when Nick Sirianni screamed in the tunnel at Arrowhead for no apparent reason. The Eagles lead the Chiefs in their all-time series 7-6.
This game lacked the fireworks we saw in the Super Bowl, with action that felt more like those sparklers you can get at the bodega that sometimes don’t light up. The Eagles are now 2-0 going into their matchup with the Rams at home, while a desperate Kansas City starts 0-2 for the first time in the Patrick Mahomes era.
Let’s recap.
GAME RECAP
This game was a defensive struggle from the start, with neither offense managing to develop consistent momentum. Both rushing attacks for the most part were halted, aside from some truly spectacular runs from Saquon Barkley, who had a lowkey 88 yards on 22 carries.
Hurts and the offense showed flashes in the first quarter, but never any consistency. Steve Spagnulo (who looks like one of the guys from Pawn Stars) blitzed Jalen Hurts on 16 of his 25 dropbacks, which is the highest rate he’s blitzed anyone since becoming the defensive coordinator in Kansas City.
Hurts looked calm and decisive against the blitz, consistently adjusting and finding his answers. Unfortunately, that didn’t result in much traction for the passing game, despite Patullo and Hurts making a concerted effort to get A.J. Brown involved early. The Eagles struck first with a beautiful touchdown run by Barkley.
Cooper DeJean and the Eagles' defense were swarming. Pressure consistently got to Mahomes, forcing him to miss open receivers and struggle to get the ball out. Vic Fangio, who did not blitz once in the Super Bowl win over the Chiefs, introduced chaos by blitzing Mahomes a total of 11 times on Sunday. Tricky Vic strikes again!
In the second quarter, Patrick Mahomes was seemingly possessed by Michael Vick, using his legs to generate plays for a stagnant Kansas City offense. He scrambled for a few backbreaking first downs against a high-flying Eagles defense, including running over Andrew Mukuba on one occasion. After an earlier score on a Harrison Butker field goal, Mahomes ran in for a touchdown to make the game 10-7. He went into halftime with 70 yards rushing.
The Eagles scored before halftime on a drive that included a potential catch of the year from A.J. Brown on a sick one-handed grab above Brown’s head.
The second half was all about defense. Cooper DeJean (who continues to be the most exciting white) was always around the ball, including an impressive open-field tackle against Kareem Hunt. But this game was for Philadelphia folk hero and rookie safety, Andrew Mukuba.
Mukuba made impressive plays all game, including a sack on Mahomes with Za’Darius Smith. The Chiefs' offense started to gain momentum with a few big plays by Travis Kelce that kept the offense rolling when the Eagles defense seemingly had them on the ropes.
Just as the Chiefs used quick game to drive down the field, Mukuba made the biggest play of his young career. With the Chiefs in the redzone knocking on the door of the endzone, Mukuba intercepted a bobbled pass by Travis Kelce and returned it for 41 yards. The Eagles went on to score on that drive, due in part to a 28-yard pass from Hurts to DeVonta Smith against an all-out blitz that got Philadelphia into the red zone.
A deep shot from Mahomes to Tyquan Thornton (who he missed wide open earlier in the drive) scored for the Chiefs to bring it to 20-17. Kansas City attempted an onside kick, which Philadelphia recovered. The Eagles were able to run out the clock and come away with a victory.
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Andrew Mukuba. Mukuba gives and Mukuba takes. Yes, he may have been run over by a scrambling Patrick Mahomes, but Mukuba made up for it by being everything, everywhere, all at once throughout this game. Aside from his timely interception, he combined for a sack with Eagles newbie Za’Darius Smith and finished the day with 5 solo tackles and 1 tackle for loss. The future is bright for Mukuba Gooding Jr.
Eagles Pass Rush. The Eagles’ front was gaining consistent pressure on Patrick Mahomes all game, disrupting timing and throwing lanes. Jordan Davis continues to have an excellent start to the season (shout out to Peloton) and Za’Darius Smith had a few big moments in his first start for Philly. Also Jalen Carter did Jalen Carter things, which included not spitting on anyone, so that’s a big win.
The Legend of Jake Elliot. Never take a good kicker for granted. Jake Elliot continues to be the epitome of reliability. He nailed a 58-yarder right before halftime that was originally a 53-yarder but got pushed back due to a penalty. He nailed a 51-yarder with ease. Jake Elliot is automatic. He’s inevitable. In the ageless words of the great Philosopher Ashanti, he’s always on time.
Winning. The Philadelphia Eagles, our Philadelphia Eagles, the Monsters of the Mid-Atlantic are an insane 18-1 in their last 19 games. That one loss is, ofcourse, by Kenny Pickett against the Commanders (what a legacy to leave). This is the most dominant Eagles team I’ve ever seen.
Jalen Hurts Talking Shit. Love this.
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The Eagles' Passing Game. The bad(ish) news about the Eagles' passing game is that it looks a lot like it did early last season, which is uninspiring to say the least. Hurts only threw for 101 yards in this game. For the second week in a row, the offensive play design looks stale. Outside of the 28-yard pass to Smith, the Eagles' offense struggled to make Spagnulo truly play for his blitz-heavy attack. I’d love to see this team adjust to find ways to feed a talented group of receivers. We know they have it in them, we saw it in the Super Bowl. This team can cut you in so many ways that they can probably overcome this like, much like they did last year. But I’d rather see them evolve, especially with the talent this group has.
A.J. Brown’s Patience. Read above. After having 1 catch last week, Brown had 5 this week for only 27 yards. At his best, A.J. Brown is a top 3 wide receiver in the NFL. These days he’s turned into a glorified blocker, like using a Macbook as a paperweight. To his credit, Brown says all the right things about team winning. But it’s okay to want to impact your team through personal accomplishments sometimes. Throw my man a 100 yard game before he’s reading Eat. Pray. Love on the sideline. The Eagles preach continuous improvement. That needs to be reflected in the design of this offense. Patullo and Sirianni have work to do.
Hot Takes
After Saquon scored the Eagles’ first touchdown, the camera cut to Nick Sirianni and Kevin Patullo doing a version of the classic Bash Brothers handshake (Armshake? Forearm knock?) made famous by Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire in the late 80’s. Now I’m no journalist, but I do have a minor in handshakes from Dap University. And it is my professional opinion that the Bash Brothers uh…arm bash thing…is the coolest celebration between two people in sports. It has everything. Energy, timing, simplicity. It can be translated from the playground to the conference room. We need more of it. We should all celebrate small wins in life, but more importantly, we should celebrate them by lobbing our arms at each other in a kind of dangerous but jovial way.
I love a nickname as much as the next man, but how long do I have to call this man “Hollywood” Brown? Marquise you are 28 years old. I’m giving you two more years of calling you Hollywood before it’s back to government. Now, it’s one thing if Hollywood Brown had a Deion Sanders-esque personality with the output of Nico Collins. But this man has topped 1,000 yards receiving ONCE in his career and hasn’t caught more than 5 touchdowns since 2021. It’s like if people called me Jeremy the Destroyer even though all I do is send emails all day. So either step it up Hollywood (perhaps an acting career? Bigger jewelry? Dancing with the Stars?) or welcome back Marquise.
If the Eagles' defense continues to play like this, they’re capable of covering up the need at the second cornerback spot. There were many times in this game when I was reminded that Adoree Jackson tracks the football as well as Helen Keller, but it didn’t bite the Eagles this game as much as it did against the Cowboys. If the Eagles can get replacement-level play out of Jackson (or another cornerback option), the talent on the rest of the defense can make up the difference. Against teams that have two strong wide receivers, it’s going to be a challenge if they can’t get pressure. But today was encouraging.
Things Only I Care About
At one point, Tom Brady accidentally called Patrick Mahomes Patrick O’Hands, which sounds like it should be the name of the Hamburger Helper mascot.
I love a good football drinking game, namely drinking when an announcer repeats one storyline over and over again. Did you know Sydney Brown is Chase Brown’s brother?? Did you know Jalen Hurts was benched in the NCAA Championship Game?? This year, we’ve been gifted with the “Jordan Davis riding the Peloton in the offseason” storyline. Burkhardt and Brady mentioned Jordan’s affinity for the bike several times during the broadcast. If you work for Peloton and you’re reading this, it’s time to get Jordan to co-host a class with Ally Love called Biking and Tackling.
This shot of Adoree Jackson making Travis Kelce look like the Eiffel Tower
Hannah Einbinder is quickly rising in the ranks of Eagles celebrity fandom for using her Emmy speech to showcase her love for the Birds. At this rate, she’s climbing the BRADLEY COOPER CELEBRITY POWER RANKINGS in a comfortable fourth, recently overtaking the likes of Anne Hathaway and Miles Teller. Bradley Cooper, Rob McElhenney, and Kevin Hart sit comfortably at the top. We’ll see where things go from here, but I like her odds.
